A New Organization

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Posted by pancho ( on October 24, 2001 at 13:13:30:

Not being able to find another Assyrian yet in this town and realizing that we have a lot of work to do if we are to rise again, I found a couple of Christians instead. As there isn’t much difference between the two at least not according to the Grat Peepil of our nation, I gave them some quick instruction on how a Christian can be an Assyrian in three easy steps. The first is to run at the sign of any danger or effort, the second is to crawl if you cant run and finally to roll over and beg if all else fails. I got them to do this in the town square at midday just to make sure they had no qualms about making spectacles of themselves, and sure enough they crawled, ran and begged with the best of our native stock.

We now had our organization and since I was buying the drinks at Rosalita’s Cantina and Comfort Station, my two honorary Assyrians elected me president. We chose PepitoSargon as vice president and PepeAtour as secretary treasurer and I deposited 100 pesos in our Humanitarian Fund. Our first meeting will be held this Friday night and on alternate Fridays after that. PepeAtour will take the minutes and I’ll translate them so people everywhere can see how these things should be done. There’s a back room at Rosalita’s we can have as Flauta, the one who usually occupies it, goes home to her husband on weekends.

We held a sort of plenary or planetary meeting, I forget which, at the bar at Rosalita’s yesterday, a kind of get to know you affair, at which we tossed around names for our organization. Just as soon as we can we’re going to apply for membership with the Chaldean and Assyrian Federations. I wanted something grand and imposing, something that would make people sit up and take notice…something that would look good on letters and name tags. |The membership allowed me to place into consideration the following….The Assyrian Mexican Christian World Wide and Universal Army. That had a military ring to it and showed people we were prepared to get our way or else. PepitoSargon had been in the army once and volunteered to train us in drill and marching, so without further ado, we had our name. I’d like to take a second to humbly point out that this is how you get things done. No sooner had we met and ordered our first tequila than we had a name. Let others profit by this example.

We decided bylaws weren’t really necessary, as no one seems to bother with them once they’re in place. We knew we were going to do great things for the Assyrian Nation and that was enough, by God. This week I’m going to see if the library has a copy of Robert’s Rules of Disorder so we can conduct our meetings in an impressive and proper manner. Each of us is supposed to give some thought to what our first order of business is to be. PepeAtour thinks tortillas are better than the tasteless examples of pita bread he’s had in this town…which he calls Pits Bread. PepitoSargon wants to introduce piñatas as a fixture at birthday parties. I don’t think they’ve grasped the seriousness of our mission yet but am convinced in the following weeks and months they too will come to recognize the frightening position Assyrians are in and I have no doubt our organization will startle you all as we come to grips with the task which lies ahead.

May almighty God guide us and preserve us...and a little better than he has to date, and keep us sober enough to attend to the important work ahead. As that great Assyrian statesman once said…Nothing is too small but that an Assyrian can find a way to make a big deal out of it. And we intend to do just that.

Yours In AssyrianMexicanChristianism

President Pancho
Assyrian Mexican Christian World Wide and Universal Army …{AMCWWUA}

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