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=> Kaboom! Rant! Rave! Bang! Boom!

Kaboom! Rant! Rave! Bang! Boom!
Posted by Emil (Guest) squaremoon@emilsdiary.com - Wednesday, January 25 2006, 6:08:32 (CET)
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Website: http://www.emilsdiary.com/
Website title: Square Moon Diary of Emil Keliane

Good posts, all. But damn! You guys really need me. Just to add a little intimacy, a sense of nowness, hereness. You know, break things up a little. ;)
I just worked my fuzzy Assyrian ass off just to post a few more entries on emilsdiary.cum. Oops, I mean com. You know this shit was painstakingly lived out and then painstakingly written down. By hand. For hours. Everything I had and was went into what is now "Square Moon". (A little bit of classic Assyrian martyrdom syndrom.)
I know, it's too much for us Assyrians- there's like sexuality, and like man-on-man action, a search for meaning beyond shame in being so much like Muslims and Americans alike: You know, Human; and alas, no quotes from the bible, (notice "bible" starts with "bib"- for puerile minds at best!)
Happy to report that I recently met a very talented and accomplished Assyrian individual, a creative person... only because I dared write it all down! My point is: our experience, when we have been courageous, can touch others in ways that our opinion can't.
Why all this insistance that we censor our past, our narrative? What's all the shame about? There's that word again: Shame. Aren't we supposed to enlighten each other? We are so busy "protecting" ourselves and others from the "truth about us" that we miss the mark on..., well, protecting ourselves.
Like Farid- my "master" ;)- I believe in wearing my heart on my sleeve because no one, NO ONE, can truly use this against me, hurt, or shame me. Us. I rely on the courage and honesty that Maggie, and Jeff, and Ado, and others like them demonstrate.
So many of us live in a shroud of fear when it comes to who and what we are, what we really want, when what we are is basically the voice of our little, infintesimal, human universe.
I know I'm not "supposed" to air dirty laundry, talk or write about myself, cross boundaries, snub God, live as I desire, have sex, and write about it all, but I "choose" to.
And to anyone reading, any idividual about to make a decision that might very well change his/her life, I say DO IT! Make that leap of faith. There are no monsters, freaks, gurus here... just men, and women. People.
It's worth it.
Good things are happening because I choose to publish my diary online and in other anthologies. Exciting things.
It has taken many years, and it will take many more before I have edited "Square Moon" down into a book that I have no doubt will be published, but we have all the time in the world. Because when it's not about the money, then it's all for the love.
Feel free to check out the following link and click on "Diary Excerpt/Nov '98"
http://www.newtownwriters.org/CurrentIssue4.html
I have to forewarn you- the piece is graphic, but it's good. I'm rather pleased with it, to be honest. (Please excuse the publisher's errors. I assure you my draft to them was meticulous.)
Check out the bio and photo at the end! ;)
Take crazy chances- emotional and spiritual chances. Break out. Do your thing with integrity and a grain of salt. Be happy with yourself. And in the words of one enigmatic and brilliant Assyrian motherfucker, War? What war?
One love.
E.



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