Understanding Rape

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Posted by panch from ? ( on Friday, May 17, 2002 at 1:17PM :

I spent a year and half avoiding being raped by a schoolfull of twisted teachers and bullys who tried to grab me every chance they could. In Kuwait it was. I was blonde as a kid and fair skinned...having come from America and speaking no Arabic made me an even better target. Rape isn't about sex, it's about power and humiliation.

Most men can't get it up when they actually try to do the deed...it's the power and humiliation that makes them wet all over...they usually wind up using something else or just putting the victim through some awful forms of humiliation.

I used to be grabbed from behind and have myself rubbed up and down against some hairy Arabs cock. They swamnder me in the pool and grabbed up at me. They would gather in the showers and watch me as I was forced to shower by the drooling teachers.

It was all rape. I can't help it if your life was lived in campus and you had a bad experiance once. Your limitations are not the suff of legend.

My real education in rape came when i was sent to Baghdad afer the Suez War when I was nearly killedfor good by rioting Muslims who decided to take their frustrations out on me..I still don't blame them.

Living at my Uncles's house in Baghdad I went to a British school as a day tripper. I got just as much grief from the British schollmarm because I now was a dirty Arab...whereas the week before, in Kuwait I had been a dirty English boy. And where I had beenbeaten and humiliated on a daily basis because I couldn't speak Arabic and would be damned if I would learn to...I was now punished and humiliated because I spelled "colour" the wrong way...the stupid and wrong American way. I was getting it from Muslims..Christians...Kuwaitis...Brits...Arabs...anyone and everyone who wanted to reach into me and mess my mind...to convince me I must be the degraded person they were treating me as...that "I" was what "they" wanted to make of me...that I told them, as I tell you, to all get lost.

People are "made", they are not born. Ideas of who you are, what you think of yourself..are implanted in you before you even know enough to know the thing can happen at all.

The real eye opener came when my own sex turned on me...when the boys that I felt I would be safe among...because there were girls at this school for them to abuse...turned on me as well.

There was a 14 year old American girl at the school who was set to leave for the States. There was a large yard at the school and it curved out of sight of the school buildings at one point where no one could see. I wandered over that way one lunch hour to see where everyone had gone to. They were having a farewell party for the American girl.

They'd tied her to a tree, a gag in her mouth.Boys were taking turns running their hands up her dress and into her pants...they were laughing and having great sport as all men wish they could. She was crying of course and the othergirls watching weren't doing anything...she was leaving anyway and they had to stay with these kinds of boys...besides she was an American...who cared.

As a final insult to her I was invited to have a go at her myself..you know, the darkie who will truly humiliate her?

I ran to the school and yelledfor help...they came running but by then they had untied her...threatened to give her more of the same if she told and acted as if nothing had happened when the teachers and Iarrived. The girl of course denied everything...the boys looked innocent and the other girls hadn't seen anything either.

You can imagine how popular I was after that.

I know all I want to know of rape...I was raped at that tree that day too. We are all raped in one way or another...stop making a martyr of yourself at your own shrine.

-- panch
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